"Give Us Your Uncultured, Ill-Mannered . . ." (not)

So before my dear friend Yoel chastises me: No, this is not a rant. It’s objective, sociological analysis.

The latest chapter in my ongoing, unpleasant saga with an area of Tel Aviv north of the city center, began the other day. A guest placed an order rather late in the evening, with a request that it be delivered earlier than our normal hours, if possible, because she was “heading out.” I woke up especially early, put the meal together with the typical care of our soul food kitchen, albeit with the help of a bit more caffeine than usual, and texted her that I would be able to deliver her order earlier than scheduled, as requested. No “thank you.” No, “I really appreciate it.” Instead, a terse response: She was heading out of the house just after 10 am. If I couldn’t deliver it by then, just leave the package on a stool outside the door. Which I did. But not before getting a series of berating messages and phone calls, angry that I had brought her order at the precise time when they were cleaning her home. File under: No good deed goes unpunished?

If this were an isolated example, I’d simply shrug it off as the drama antics of one guest. It happens from time to time when you work with the public. It goes with the territory. Only the territory here seems to be almost exclusively limited to what I can only stereotypically and reductively refer to as one of the nouveau-riche neighborhoods of Tel Aviv. Here, I get this type of attitude a lot. Or, to be more precise and rely on my two-years-and—growing database/regression analysis, there is a very high degree of correlation between this high-handed noblesse-oblige attitude and one particular zip code.

Which is causing a real dilemma here at Etzlenu. I love the peace and quiet and meditation and harmony that comes from serving up satisfactory meals. And as another dear friend of mine once counselled me, “Martin, it is best to remove people who are toxic from your life.” Should I flat out deny service to such guests though? That would run counter to the southern ethos of gracious hospitality. Should I simply rule out home deliveries to this zip code (and one or two others)? Not exactly the smartest of business practices.

I am open, dear reader, to suggestions.