On Firing a Customer

I blame it on the fiery smell of habernos I was roasting at the time. That’s when the SMS came in from a new customer. First of all, she wanted me to use organic ingredients wherever possible. Which is fine, if you want to cover the premium for organic foodstuffs. Otherwise, it’s kinda like going into a restaurant and saying, “just add truffles to whatever dishes you can.” Secondly, she and her husband eat out most nights in nice restaurants. So she wanted my recommendations on menu items she could store in the freezer for future consumption. Which is also fine, I guess, although most of my cooking is a la minute and really meant to be eaten immediately. Third, she loved our menu, but really didn’t want anything spicy at all. Which is the style of our cuisine. Fourth, she wanted me to bring her food at a time outside of my usual delivery hours. Oh, and by the way, she was very busy at work, so please just call the nanny when it came time for delivery.

It is really hard for any business, especially a small one, especially during these challenging times, to say “no” to a customer. Especially hard for southerners. We will do Olympic-quality gymnastics rhetorically-speaking to avoid saying “no.” And yet there I was, after I completed her order and after I delivered it to her (no I did not contact the nanny), writing her a polite thank-you SMS saying you know, we are probably not the best fit for the chef you are looking for. But I’m sure you will find that person real soon. Thanks so much. Martin.